A merry heart doeth good like a medicine….
I thought I’d share a few humorous stories today.
Rev. Sidney Lang of Dublin, Ireland shares the following:
Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash
- I was made to wash as a child
- People who wash are hypocrites. They reckon they’re cleaner than other people.
- There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one is right.
- I used to wash but it got boring so I stopped.
- I still wash on special occasions like Easter and Christmas.
- None of my friends wash.
- I’m still young. When I’m older and have got a bit dirtier I might start washing.
- I really don’t have time.
- The bathroom is never warm enough
- People who make soap are only after your money.
Steve Allen shares the following story:
During an ecumenical gathering, someone rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire”
The Methodist at once gathered in a corner and prayed.
The Baptist cried, “Everybody into the water”
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring fire was evil because it was the natural abode of the devil.
The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for himself”
The Seventh-Day Adventists proclaimed, “ Its the vengeance of an angry God”.
The Christian Scientist agreed among themselves that there really was not a fire.
The Presbyterians(Brethren) appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and make a written report to the next session.
The Unitarian-Universalists concluded that the fire had as much right to be there as anyone else.
The Catholics passed a collection plate to cover the damages.
The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect pastor preaches exactly 15 minutes. He condemns sin but never upsets anyone. He works from 8am till midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car and gives about $50 weekly to the poor. He is 28 years old and has been preaching 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teen-agers and spends all his time with senior citizens. The perfect pastor smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on parish families, shut-ins and the hospitalized. He spends all his time evangelizing the unchurched and is always in his office when needed. If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches who are tired of their pastor too. Then bundle your pastor up and send him to the church at the top of the list. In one week you will receive 1,643 pastors and one of them should be perfect. Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three weeks.
May the Joy of the Lord be your strength!